I woke up at 9am on a Saturday completely voluntarily to log into a zoom Torah study discussion group.
Bible study. At 9am on a Saturday. Who am I??
Okay, but in all seriousness, this is a new desire for me, and is making me confront a whole bunch of internalized judgement about caring about church. I grew up in a faith tradition and a group that I didn’t really respect because I felt like it didn’t respect me. It was also at a time in my life where I hadn’t started thinking that caring is cool, so I’m working on a lot of leftover cynicism.
I didn’t feel it when I was in the discussion group, which was really nice. It felt like a place to care and be earnest and step in and lean into the talk. It felt like a college English class honestly, especially the part where I didn’t do the reading beforehand and had to wait for other people to establish the topic before I dove in.
But I did dive in. Close to the end, I found a point where I was confident I had something to say and I shared and it seemed appreciated and that was nice.
I think I’m going to try to make Torah study a habit, if for no other reason than I don’t want to wait 2 weeks at a time to engage with this community and material.